Thursday, February 9, 2012

My Son the Ladies Man

I was in no way prepared to have a son. I'm not so sure that I'll ever be.

I have a younger sister. No brothers. Growing up, my friends had little brothers but the most I knew about them was that they stood to pee and had cooties. Until I met my husband, most of my boyfriends were just that... boys. I was only a girl then though so it's not like I'm making fun of them. Well... not making fun of ALL of them. Anyway...

It all started with finding out that he was a boy. I was happy that I was giving my husband a son. But as far as the rest of it... I had to pick out boys clothes. I had to set up a boys nursery. I had to buy boy toys. I was SO out of my element. Two years later and I'm still having a hard time with all that still. Maybe it's because my husband is standing behind me saying things like, "Come on, Mom. That's just not cool enough!" Ok. Cut me some slack. I didn't know that there were "fake" GI Joes.

Then came the circumcisions. Don't even get me started on that. That's probably the ONLY good thing about him having been at Children's Hospital the weeks after his birth. THEY took care of it. Not me. I still feel funny dealing with all that stuff down there if he's got diaper rash or something. Last week, he slipped and fell climbing into the tub, landing (somehow) right on his crotch. I had to call my husband in to look at it because I had no idea if what I was looking at was normal or not. I'm not stupid. I just haven't studied what it's supposed to look like and not supposed to look like. Whatever.

After all that came the outrageous "I'm a leader in training" attitude I got from him. My oldest daughter has a ton of energy but my son and his dominant behavior is a while other ball game. His dad is all "alpha male" and I'm borderline psycho so combine that with his own semi self awareness of what or who he has to be someday and you've got a super strong willed demanding hyper child. He's a delight.

Finally, something that I figured was going to happen but that I'm still not prepared to deal with is his love of the ladies. He's the "sexy silent type" that his daddy was. He doesn't run up to the girls and hug them. He doesn't try to talk to them. But at the same time, he's not beating them over the head cave man style either. He likes to look and he likes to show off.

We first noticed it a while ago but it's only getting worse (which makes me REALLY nervous). He'd stare at the waitresses or if we were at the mall and a pretty young woman walked by, he'd stop everything he was doing and stare at her walking past. Totally checking her out. Last week we were at the park. There were about 4 girls around the ages of 4 to 6. He made sure to stay in their general area on the playground. When they were climbing up to the highest point to go down the slides, he made sure he was up there. And he (seriously, I'm not joking) made sure they were watching him as he chose the highest, scariest slide to go down. Later, we watched him run past them over and over, almost running into them. Just kinda making sure they knew he was there.

Earlier this week, he was upstairs playing in the play room. Since he was quiet, I got nervous and asked my husband to check on him. When my husband came back downstairs, he said, "You don't EVEN want to know what he was doing." Well, of course that makes me wonder but I was thinking something along the lines of running around naked or flushing toys down the toilet. I said , "Just tell me." The answer I got was this:
"He's got a few Barbies sitting in the Barbie pool. But he took their tops off and he's giving them drinks."

Now, this was a joke. I mean, that IS what he was doing but my husband was just being funny about it. But it made me wonder when Little Man is going to be a Ladies Man. I understand that I need to teach him how to treat and respect women. That it's something that his father and I are and need to continue to instill in him. That doesn't stop him from being a boy though.

What age do little boys really start being interested in girls and all that other stuff? I know he's only two but he's still a boy. He's still got guy DNA. When do I need to start worrying about all the other little girls out there?

Obviously, we've got a while before he "has a girlfriend". And I wont be one of those mom's who drives her kids around on their "dates". When he wants to take a girl out on a date, he has to be old enough to drive her himself. Same with my daughters. They can't go out on a date with a guy if she isn't or if her boyfriend isn't old enough to drive.

Still... I may understand how a man's mind works but I don't have the slightest idea how a boy's mind works. Or WHEN it works. And asking men hasn't helped. They can't really tell me. Which makes me think that boys are BORN thinking about girls.

My son the ladies man.

This Wannabe Supermom better suit up. This battle may last a while! What out, girlies! It's gonna take a REAL special girl to be "good enough" for my son. And I'm not afraid to tell you that (kindly of course... unless you need a wake up call...).

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious story. My son is 14 and still naive int he girl world. I am so not ready for the hormones to hit. I grew up in a all girl family and totally get it!


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