Sunday, January 22, 2012

Leaving a Legacy

It's kinda sad that it takes pain or tragedy to make you think about certain things sometimes but that's how it goes.

My grandmother's neighbor's daughter-in-law passed away after a battle with cancer today. She left behind her husband and 2 young children. She was in her early 30's. I don't know a single thing about her other than the man that she was married to and her in laws are really good people. That alone makes me think that she must have been something very special.

The fact that she left children behind is what made me think about what people will say when remembering  her. What will her children be told about her? Will they remember her at all? How will their lives be affected just from having known her at all?

This thinking led me to my dad's mom. I wish so badly that I could have met her. She passed away when he was 10. Life for every one in the family changed drastically. Everything from that point forward took an incredible turn. What truly makes me think that she must have been an amazing woman though is how Dad speaks about her to this day. He talks about her as if she was some kind of magical goddess of love and compassion, happiness and peace. She lived her life in such a way that whenever Dad thinks about her, he remembers good things. He remembers love and living a life free of worry and filled with family and fun.

I wonder what my children would say if something happened to me. Would they say that I yelled a lot? Would they say that I couldn't keep up with the laundry? Would they remember the times I got frustrated and broke down in tears? Probably not. At their very young ages of 3, 2 and 7 months, they'd probably remember girl's night and going to Chic-Fil-A on Fridays or going to church. But if they were older, what would they say then? What kinds of things would they talk about with my husband? Am I leaving a good impression on their lives?

It's something to think about, as a mom, when living out each day. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the dishes and the diapers and the doctor's appointments and making sure they know how to spell their names or sing the songs properly. I think it goes along with a point I made a while ago about investing in your children. In putting in your love and time and not just the "stuff". I think it's about making sure that they know that, as my kids, that they are the most important thing I will ever "do" in my life. That they are the greatest things that have ever happened to me, stinky diapers and all.

What will my children remember about me, the Wannabe Supermom?

4 comments:

  1. Thanks for this post. I never really thought about the legacy I'm going to leave my daughter. Now, I realize that I have be more cautious with the way I act and the things I say.

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  2. Awesome post. Always a valuable, and sobering, reminder. It's what motivates me to take so many pictures and videos. I've turned the camera around on me a few times and told them how much I love them. Chaos on in the background. Same for my husband. I've read stories on video for grandkids I may never meet. It's honestly what motivated me to start a blog, hopefully its something they can read and laugh with later. I also started a letter/list for my kids. All my favorites. Books to read. Movies to watch. Favorite bible verses...

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  3. Oh, Abby...if I had a dime for every time that thought has crossed my mind just in the past year. There's something about being a writer that has pulled my thoughts in that direction. What legacy do I want to leave? What will my children say? How will they remember me? And then I think about my mom. She's still alive and well, but she always views her moments in the heat of raising children as moments of failure. Like you mentioned...the endless laundry piled up, the screaming, the hustle and bustle of trying to get it all accomplished so you can have just five minutes to sit and be your own person with nobody demanding anything from you. I'm my own worst critic as a mother every single day. What's awesome though, is just like I don't view my mother's "failures" the way she does (I remember all the beautiful things of my childhood with her), my children and my husband are constantly showering me with compliments about what a great mom I am and how much they love me. A friend once told me, "if you feel the need to ask yourself if you're being a great mom, your desire to know already means the answer is YES." And in that is where our legacy is created.

    Wishing you a beautiful Monday and a blessed week. Thanks for the awesome words, as always. :)

    Hugs,
    ~Rosann

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