Tuesday, January 24, 2012

If You Got It, Flaunt It

Every once in a while, something will happen that makes me realize that I'm getting older. Like today, when I was at the grocery store. The cashiers were young men (which now that I think about it, they didn't look old enough to NOT be in high school and I'm wondering why they weren't in school...). Although very genuinely polite, I wanted to laugh at them. The one had long hair that swept across his face and he had to keep his head tilted at an angle so he could peak out between the hairs where his part was. The other had on pants tighter than mine. And trust me, I can barely fit into my own as it is. I really wanted to laugh. I know this is the style now but it made me feel older to think that they really didn't look as cool as they were hoping.

I think back on my years in middle, high school and even college, when being "trendy" was super important. I went to a private Christian school from kindergarten to 12th grade and we wore uniforms for as long as I can remember. There wasn't a whole lot of room for "self expression", which really, is the whole point of unifor
ms. I didn't associate with many kids outside of my school so I couldn't tell you how "public school kids" dressed. Then I went to college. It was a Christian college and at the time, they had a much stricter dress code than they do now. Although there was now room for a little bit of self expression, we still kinda had to follow the same guidelines as every one else. My idea of "cool" was still pretty basic. I know I thought it was coolest to be "edgier" than every one else. I wore my chucks before they got super popular again. I thought flames needed to be on almost every garment of clothing and that chains made you look hardcore. (I'm laughing while I'm writing this). I left college, went home and got a job waitressing. I think I was blown away by how different every one was. I upgraded my "edginess" by dying my hair all the time and getting tattoos. I smoked (which I never really thought was cool, it seriously helped me de-stress but still...) and continued to sport my dragon seat covers in my Toyota Tercel. I was SO cool. In all seriousness, I was the biggest geek around, having to wear huge glasses, head gear, a back brace and barely being able to walk with out tripping. I didn't realize that back then but oh well.   

I get a kick out of how I dressed. My husband told me that had I continued to dress that way, he'd have nominated me for the show "What Not To Wear". However, as I've gotten older, my tastes and my style has changed a little. It's no longer a matter of trying to be "trendy" or to express myself. It is now a matter of owning who I am and what I am. I don't feel the need to keep up with teeny bopper trends (thank goodness! they only seem to get worse as time goes on!) and feel that I am able to be myself. I'm not so worried about what others will think of how I'm dressed, I'm not as concerned with what every one else is wearing or what others are going to think of my tattoos. In fact, if they weren't so stinking expensive, I'd have a whole lot more (seriously... don't tell me they don't cost much. you get the kinda quality you pay for and I'm not spending money on a cheap tattoo). But that's the thing. I am who I am and I'm not ashamed of it.

I'm a Christian woman. And I'm not afraid to let you know. I'm a stay at home mom. I'm not ashamed of that. I had three kids back to back. Also nothing that I feel weird about no matter what "well meaning" people choose to say. I've got tattoos and if that makes me weird, then I'm stinkin weird. I kinda feel that if you've got it, flaunt it. As women, we went through tons of peer pressure when we were younger. More than we realized. At some point in time, that peer pressure needs to end. It's time to stop being afraid of every one else who, in all reality, is just as afraid of every one else as we are. Time to wear our skin, our titles, our accomplishments proudly. It's time that we start setting GOOD examples (get out of my face, Lady GaGa!) for the younger generations of women coming up behind us. It's time to start being confident with who we are. I know it's easier said than done. I still struggle sometimes with wondering, especially in church, "Will they like me? Are they going to look down on me because I'm 'tatted'?" But really. There's more to being a woman than the clothes we wear or what others think of us.

Part of growing up is knowing that "cool" is relative. That it is just a matter of opinion, tastes and preferences. In my opinion, cool is confidence in being yourself. I don't think this is projected enough to the women who are quickly stepping into our shoes. My husband once told me that the most attractive thing about a woman is her self confidence. A woman who carries herself well and was sure of who she was as a woman was more attractive in his opinion than a woman who was always doubting herself or really insecure. I honestly agree with this. And think that this is an idea that needs to be presented to my daughters. Being self confident is cool.

This Wannabe Supermom is gonna flaunt what she's got because she's not ashamed of who she is.


  1. I have to admit that at my age, I still sometimes value what other people think of me. I should try to be more confident and self-assured. To hell with what they think, right?

    Great post. Thanks for the inspiration :)

  2. Being self-confident IS cool! I loved that line. Great post. I love your walk from putting effort to being "edgy" to "I am who I am".

    I always thinking about how I can guide my 2 daughters (and son) into celebrating exactly who God made them to be, gifts AND weaknesses. Despite the fact that we're surrounded by a whole lot of airbrushing;) So when I tell them, You're beautiful inside and out, in that order, I have to believe it too!

    My husband has always been the best walking example of this. He's 5'5, and the hottest guy I know. We always laugh how we need to petition to get a short guy for The Bachelor;) I've been in love with him since 17 years old, and I've never defined him as "the short guy"...and the best part is...neither has he!

    I always wanted to have a magazine, targeted at young women, called REAL, or something "edgier" ;) All the people in the magazine are just as they are. Real people, not all models. A lot of 5'5 men;) All sizes and shapes. No airbrushing,make-up's fine;) Tats are fine too!

    Thanks Abby!


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