Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Giving Gifts That Will Last a Lifetime

I was reading an article this morning on my Fox News app that was about the statistics associated with an MTV study. The study was about the negativity between the sexes presented on the network. It turns out that, in most cases by a landslide, women were much more negative towards themselves and each other in their behavior and words than men are. At first, I was shocked. Upon further thought though, it really doesn't surprise me and that's terrible. It breaks my heart that women in today's society glorify being trashy. It's really really sad.

Things that I realized years ago are now a forefront concern for me. I have two daughters and a son. I have to do my very best to equip them with the morals needed to stand up against the attacks of our society and human nature. I not only have to try my hardest to shape my daughters into self respecting women but I have to show my son what is really desirable in a woman. His well being is just as at risk here as my daughters'. Society will be fighting against them every step of the way.

I once got in an argument with guy regarding strippers. He raised the point that many women strip to make money to put themselves through college. This has got to be the sorriest excuse I've ever heard. Not only did it discredit this man in my eyes but knowing that women use that as an excuse to expose themselves to men for cash grossed me out. And I'm not sympathetic to the whole "Oh, she has daddy issues though." I did a LOT of stupid things in my life. I was rebellious and foolish and you know what? Not a single decision I made about my relationships with men or what I was doing with my life had ANYTHING to do with my dad. He was and is an incredible father. A man that I have a lot of respect for. He raised me to be of a mindset that I didn't need a man to validate me, that I didn't need to act like a hooker just to get men's attention and that NOT being in a relationship was just as good, if not better in some cases than being in one. I just didn't listen to his instruction and wisdom. I wish I had. I would have saved myself a lot of pain and frustration. So when I hear that a woman is a stripper, hooker, porn star, whatever you choose to call it, because she had "daddy issues" I have a tendency to roll my eyes.

I have people in my own life that have overcome incredible obstacles in their lives, including the negative influences of their parents, to become wonderful loving wholesome God fearing people. We are in charge of our own actions. Accountable to God alone. The foolish choices I made in my life do not reflect the parenting I received. They reflect my own insecure mind.

I'm at a point NOW though that I understand and appreciate the teachings of my parents. I have decided that, in light of the "giving holiday", that I will begging now to bestow upon my children, gifts that will last a lifetime, such as my parents did. My own children may or may not make the same foolish choices I did. But what kind of parent would I be if I didn't at least show them what the right thing to do is? What kind of mother would I be if I let my young daughters mimic the "role models" in our society? What kind of mother would I be if I didn't try to show my son that a trashy woman is not desirable? Some things I think they will figure out on their own but others, they need to be guided in. It's part of my duty as a parent. It's my duty as some one who loves them.

I WILL be coming back to this point again at another time. Women and their lack of self respect, their unnecessary promiscuity and their ability to cause men to fall is something that pains me deep into my soul. I've been there, done that, and I know the destruction it causes. I don't want my children to fall the way I did. I don't think that going through some of the experiences I went though are necessary to their growth as an individual. It is ok to learn certain things with out having to go through them firsthand.

Try to give your children gifts that will last them their entire lives. Show them how to love (not lust). Show them how to build self esteem and to overcome insecurities. Helping them understand who they are as an individual and as a valued family member will help them grow their entire lives.

"We're either growing or dying." Ellen Miller


  1. Hello =D
    so I came to your blog because I saw your post on the bloggymoms site, which lead to me getting to read this post!! I 100% agree with you. I've gotten into the whole stripper argument before as well, and let me tell ya! I personally had a pretty crappy dad but have never thought that stripping and such were a way to get through things. I rebelled, dated bad boys, got hurt, got pregnant young but never once have I used the excuse "well my dad hurt me as a kid so that's why I'm messed up" because I had other family in my life teaching me right from wrong and showing me love, and I knew better. I'm very thankful things in my life turned out wonderful and I now have 2 boys and 1 girl and an awesome husband. But using the "dad" excuse is just that, and excuse. At some point you gotta take credit for your actions. anyways... now that I've rambled on... haha!!! Thank you for sharing your view!!


  2. This is a great post. It's so important to impart a sense of morals and ethics in our children. Is it just me or does it seem like the sex/lusting/strippers etc now days has gone up much more than you'd see or hear about 10-20 years ago? I don't want my son to sit lusting after a stripper or any other woman. That's why it's so important to impart a sense of self security, positive self image and pride and moral code in our kids. Great blog!!

  3. Great post and I totally agree with you. My parents were divorced when I was 6 yrs old and as a result I'm carrying around my own daddy issues. The attitude I've always had is that regardless of our circumstances we have the power and responsibility to choose the way we live and the way we respond. I also wasn't raised with God at the center of my life. I'm a dreamer. I know what I don't want and therefore make decisions that steer me closer to the things which are important.



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