Monday, November 7, 2011

Where's the Mute Button?

Right now, my house is nice and quiet with the exception of the rhythmic sound of the the drying turning. Its the first quiet I've had all day. And it sounds SO good!

My three year old daughter has entered the wonderful stage of non stop talking. She'll talk about anything. And heaven forbid that she hear you say something you didn't mean to say. I'm not talking about cussing or something. Here, for example, I made a comment about dieting a few weeks ago. I've been cutting certain foods out, specifically sweets. I'll eat them sometimes but not like I used to. Well, Halloween night, when the kids were digging through their buckets to pick out their 2 pieces for the night, my daughter says to me, "I'd share with you but you can't eat candy because you'll get fatter." Thanks kid. I guess its the thought that counts, right? Or I made a comment about one of my neighbors who isn't very nice. Every time we see this person drive by, my daughter says, "I don't like them. They're mean." Great. I really hope she never sees them face to face. Recently, she was getting bloody noses from picking her nose so much. Yeah, I know. Gross but she's a little kid and they do stupid things sometimes. Well, she will randomly come up to me and say, "I don't pick my boogers out any more because they make my nose bleed."


At dinner, when I finally sit down to eat after serving the kids, feeding the baby and letting the next dog in the room to eat, "Mom, can I have some of your chicken? I ate all mine." Me: "Can I eat my own dinner, please?" Her: "Mom, you said to share." Awesome.

Regarding almost anything, whether my husband really got it for her or not... even the things that I was excited about picking out for her: "Mom, daddy got this for me because I'M his #1 girl!"

Now... on to my son. I love this kid but holy cow. He is all boy. He is a handful and he's the one that puts me through the hoop more than the other two combined. The other day, we went to McDonald's. When we got there, we were the only people in there and so I just let them go play on the playground while I set up their food at the table. My son climbed up to the top, right at the entrance of the slide and planted himself there. For two hours. I couldn't see him. I could only hear him screech his defiant shrill scream when I'd call his name. I even had to tell my daughter that I'd buy her ice cream if she'd just go up there and push him down the slide. She tried. He just kept screaming. It got to the point that as other kids came in, they learned his name and would go up to him say, "Its ok. You can come down now. You're mom says so." He'd just scream at them. Finally, after pleading with him to come down for over an hour, a kind old lady offered to watch my purse and the baby so that I could climb up there and get him. I'm pretty sure he was extremely surprised to see me. The expression on his face said enough. And lucky for him, he didn't scream. It would not have been good.

He only says a few words that I can make out right now. I get car, "I'm mad!", Sissy, me, cup, eat, "I'm ok", and "POOP!!!" which is his universal word for "change my diaper" whether he did #1 or #2. Sometimes, I can't handle his noise level. He screams at a high pitch than a flippin fire alarm. Wanna get me to crack through some form of torture? Sit me in a room with him screaming non stop. The frequency will drive me mad in minutes and then I'm all yours. When ever I'm on the phone or trying to skype with my parents, he's constantly yelling or having a meltdown about something. Anything. He cracks me up sometimes though. Today, he tripped and fell flat on his face. He jumps up with remarkable speed and says, "I'M OK!!!" and runs away. The other day, he and I were goofing around on the floor and I'm pretty sure he managed to accidentally stick his whole finger right in my eyeball. Of course I reacted with the, "Hey kid! Whats your problem?" (Yeah, Yeah, I know. It was an accident. I'm only human though.) He then turns to me, strokes my cheek and says, "Ok, Mah?" Its the cutest. He recently started verbally responding when I say, "I love you." His response is, "Mah. Too." Just being able to hear him say SOMETHING in response to those three powerful words makes me cry.

And the baby... She's into making the most adorable noises lately. On the way home from church yesterday, she and her older sister were "talking" to each other. My oldest would say something and the baby would coo in response. It was adorable. However, she's my crier. Neither of my older two cried half as much as she does. And she gets herself so worked up that it takes forever for her to calm down. She's been napping so poorly lately and I honestly feel that a good part of it is just that she wants to be a part of what every one else is doing. So by the end of the day, she's pooped and not happy about it. Oh man. She's SO loud! And I tell ya, that desperate, frustrated cry of a baby is nearly impossible to ignore. Trust me. I tried. I've tried letting her cry it out but it ends up driving me so insane with the noise from the other two that I give in within minutes.

Right now though, the house is quiet. The drier isn't even going any more. Totally quiet. Ok, one of the dogs are snoring but I'll take that over screaming babies right now. I think that I need to invent something that can turn your hearing on and off. You know, like you just push a button or flip a switch and it mutes all the outside noise. Maybe it could hook up to MP3 players. Not like headphones. You wouldn't need to wear  anything or still be able to hear surrounding sounds behind your music. I mean something that just tunes it all out. I'd love to know what the voices in my head sound like again. I'm starting to miss them ;)

I know what its like to not be able to hear your baby make a sound. I know that its like to stare at your child and BEG that they open their mouth and make some kind of noise. To spend days in the presence of my baby who was hooked up to a breathing tube and so sedated that he wasn't physically able to utter a cry. However, I also know what its like to have three kids crying and screaming all at once. I think I've earned the right to appreciate the quiet that comes when they are all sleeping peacefully.

I'm going to shut this down now and I'm going to just sit for a while and enjoy it. And maybe hit up a bubble bath and book.


  1. Haha on the diet comment! My Mom said when I was little I screamed at the top of my lungs in the grocery store "My Mommy is getting Diet Coke cause she really needs to go on a diet!" Poor Mom, she would definitely sympathize with you there :( She also claims I'll get double what I gave, looking forward to that :P

  2. There are days when you just want to scream yourself! I would like to climb up on a playground and just scream for 2 hours. Wouldn't it feel good!!!

    Some days are so challenging!! I think your kids are a riot, but it's always easy when they are not yours!!!

    Great post!!! I'm glad you have a place to let out some of the frustrations of being a mom! I hope you get a bit of quiet!

  3. Hilarious, about the candy! Lol!!! Kids do the darndest things;) I can only beat the quite if I stay up to 1-2a because then the hubs finally doses off and I'm left to my thoughts;)


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