Wednesday, November 16, 2011
What's Worse: A Noble Knight or a Romantic Vampire?
Anyway. For whatever reason, lately I've been wondering what kind of guys my daughters will date. My three year old has been saying for months now that "boys are yucky" and honestly, I'm hoping she feels that way until after she acquires her MD and stars her own practice. I just wonder though. Will they date some one like their dad? Will they not be able to date because of their over protective brother? Will they be influenced by society or be "free thinkers" and make their dating choices based on an awareness of themselves? It may seem silly to worry about this since they're so little but I think that there are certain things that kids need to be "taught" starting at a really young age or it'll be harder to help them understand as they get older. How they see themselves and others of the opposite sex is something that I want my girls (and son) to understand so that maybe they will have the knowledge that will help them avoid some really dumb decisions.
One of the things that pushed me to write this at this moment is that Twilight is on TV. Laugh at me if you want but I loved the books and think the movies are cute. Set aside the blood and the feuding and the vampires and werewolves and quarreling, its a pretty romantic story. Yup. I'm a grown women who likes reading about high school vampires falling in love with human girls and then arguing with werewolf teenagers about who gets to marry the girl. Don't tell any one.
I find it almost bizarre though how in a few days, when the next movie in the saga comes out, that there will be hoards of young girls swamping the movie theaters. Many of these girls will have been at the theater for days, camping out, waiting for their turn to get in and watch the silly story unfold even further. I know that part of it is the actual story from the books and that the other part is the good looking young men who play these characters (hey, they're over 18... its not weird for me to say they're good looking!) Maybe its weird to me because I was never a part of or even exposed to the craze of the boy bands or the Titanic or yeah, even The Notebook. I hated Backstreet Boys or... hahaha, I can't even remember any of the other names. It just wasn't my cup of tea. It is just a strange concept to me that these girls are SO obsessed with the characters in this story that it is all they can think about. They dream of meeting those idolized actors. They're consumed with it.
I had posters of Vin Diesel and Arnie on my wall as a teen so I understand physical attraction. But I wasn't crying myself to sleep or seeking these men out or dating guys that looked just like them. Well... I dated a couple bald guys but I don't think that had anything to do with my attraction to Vin Diesel.
I hear parents complain about how the Disney Princesses and their stories set up our daughters for unrealistic expectations in their "mate seeking" or their dating life. The rich, handsome prince on his gorgeous horse rescuing the fair maiden and whisking her away to his palace effects girls to the point that as they get older, having been "brainwashed", they feel that men are supposed to be dashing and that you're only supposed to seek out the handsome, rich guys with good jobs and posh houses and fly rides. I watched ALL the Disney princess movies and loved them and didn't grow up feeling this way. My parents taught me to be aware of myself and happy with who I am as a person and then, when ready, to find a man who was respectful and respectable and loving and who thought the world of me. I'm not about to pretend that I listened all the time but that's what I was taught.
When it comes down to it all, I'd prefer my daughters to fall in love with a dashing prince than a lonely vampire... or his buff werewolf counterpart. I need to figure out the best way to help them understand though, to not be pushed around and formed by society. I want them to figure out who they are as individuals before they start falling head over heals in love with some one. I know I'm saying "I want" a lot but I don't think it's wrong for me to say that as a mother. I've lived and fell and learned enough in my life to know a little bit about love. And the unrealistic expectations set up by our blood sucking hopeless romantic is, in my opinion, a little more dangerous than the ones built by our noble prince. The obsessively doting "undead" vs the honorable royal. Hmm... no brainer there.
My point is that it's up to me (and my husband) to make sure that my daughters understand what's really important when it comes to who they date. Society and their paranoia over Disney brainwashing my kids while their own children are forming vampire clans can kiss my... well, they can get a grip. If my daughters choose to date some one that's royalty and is classically handsome with a cool palace and job security instead of some guy that sneaks into her bedroom with freakish stealth and seduces her with his undead sensuality, I'm more than ok with that.
And now its time for this Wannabe Supermom to hit the hay.