Thursday, October 20, 2011
Welcome to the Land of "NO!"
I didn't even think about it until, in response to a reprimand today, my son said, "No, Mah!" to me. He's been saying the word to me for a few weeks now but for some reason, today, it hit me that he got it from me.
Any given day can go something like this:
To Chanel, our bulldog: "No! You stupid dog! No! Stop chewing on my wall!"
To Alex, my oldest daughter: "No, Alex, we are not watching Dora movies... again... No more for now."
To Anthony, my son: "OH NO!!!!!! What are you doing? Don't do that! NO!!!! Put your pants back on!"
To Adrina, the baby: "Don't cry, sweetie. It's ok. Uh. Oops. NO! Stop barfing on me!"
To Spike and Stella, our boxers: "No! Get back here! No! Don't run away AGAIN!"
To my poor, dear husband: "No darling, I didn't remember to start your car even though you've been asking me for over a week to do it."
I say it ALL the time.
"No more sippy cups. You pee too much."
"Oh No. Who colored on the wall THIS time?"
"No, I'm not interested in what ever it is that you keep calling me about trying to sell."
"No, No, No, Anthony! DON'T try to swing on the curtins!"
"No! Don't touch that! It's hot!"
"No! You can't feed that to the baby! No sharing cherios with the baby!"
"No, you dumb dog! The barbie is NOT a chew toy!"
"Oh No! I stepped in dog barf in my bare feet again."
"No, I don't remember having the conversation that you said we had 10 times in one day. My brain is fried."
"No, Alex, it is not time to get up. It is 4 am. It is still night time."
"No, Anthony, you can't climb onto the dining room table and jump off."
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
Ugh. In all seriousness, I tried to use a different word today. I asked my daughter if she could refrain from stealing her brother's toy cars. She looked at me like I was crazy. She had no idea what I was talking about.
I tease my oldest daughter by saying that when she is doing something silly that she is "Cah-Ray-Zee". Ironicly, the only time I can remember saying the word "Yes" in the last week or so was today when she asked me, "Mommy, are you "Cah-Ray-Zee?"
I have got to figure out some other word to use that expresses my negative oppinion of something. Maybe something along the lines of, "Kid, if you try to climb out that window one more time, I'll kick your butt!" Or how about, "Babe, I didn't start your car even though you've been asking me to because I know everything and since I know everything, I know it's all good in the hood!" Maybe, "Sweetie, if you ask me for a piece of candy again, I'm going to make you eat so much that it'll make you sick and you'll never even want to THINK about candy for the rest of your life."
I don't know. Those seem a bit harsh. Well... not the one about me knowing everything but whatever.
It seems that my only options are to 1) stop talking all together. 2) Start speaking another language where the word for "no" isn't "no". I tried this with Spanish but it didn't really work. So, some other language. 3) Make some freakish noise instead of saying "no." Or 4) just accept the fact that for the rest of my life, I'll be saying the word "NO" on a regular basis.
In 15 years it'll be:
"No, Anthony, you can NOT drive my car!"
"No, Alex, I am not buying that expensive purse for you. No, I'm not getting the shoes for you instead."
"No, Adrina, I'm not goinng to let you go to the mall by yourself."
"No, Darling, I didn't put my fingers on your perfectly waxed car."
"No, we don't still have those nutty dogs. We have new ones. Their names are 'No' and 'Not a chance.'"
"Yes, I AM CAH-RAY-ZEE!!!"
Know what I'm saying? What? No? Ok. Whatever.