I've been doing a ton of thinking and pondering and wondering lately. I've been doing some reading and some listening and some praying. I've been doing a whole lot lately. I have had a ton of stuff going on inside my head lately, a ton going on at home recently and some how, I still had writers block. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to blog about and it was driving me nuts. I began to wonder why I even started this blog.
I think I had originally wanted to do it because I love to write and I wanted to write about SOMETHING so I wrote about the only thing I know right now. Motherhood. I obviously don't know that much about it and half the stuff that happens to me or my kids or more frustrating than entertaining. I don't want to write about things that are going to bring people down. I wanted to write about something that others can relate to. Such as the pursuit of becoming a Supermom.
This led me to wonder why I was even trying to be a Supermom. What even is a Supermom? Does she really exist or is she just something that we've all built up in our minds? I look at other women and I think, "That woman has it all together. She looks amazing. Her kids are all clean and cute. They're all smart and super athletes. Every one loves them. Her husband thinks she's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Her home is spotless and there's always something delicious cooking. I want to be her." You know what though? I don't know many women who actually fit this description. Who have it all and are the best at everything. Half the ones that come close are missing something. Sure, her husband may think she's great, but she's so busy with the house and kids that she never pays him any attention. Yeah, her kids are adorable and popular but they take her for granted. Yeah her hair and make up is all done and she has an amazing body but she's torn up inside consumed with either her own vanity or an insecurity so severe that she could be sent to the loony bin if she got any closer to the edge.
I'm not perfect. I wish I was. I wish I was able to keep my house clean enough to have company over at the drop of a hat. I can't cook. Sometimes, I lock myself in the bathroom. My kids have been known to throw fits in public. My dogs attack the cranky neighbors. Most days, I forget to put deodorant on. I am so busy cleaning up messes that I didn't get to from the day before that I have a hard time teaching my children basic things like numbers and the alphabet and such. Half the time, the make up on my face is left over from the night before. And I can tell you, one way to save money on your water bill is to completely forget to shower. Works. I promise.
I keep trying to figure out who I'm competing with though. Is there some one that I feel the need to "beat" and become the best mommy? Are there really women out there who are perfect mothers? Perfect wives? Perfect everythings? What is a successful mom? The meaning of success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose (Merriam Webster Dictionary). Well, by this definition, it's attaining your end goal. What is my goal?
I want so very badly to be a good mom. I've been trying to look to what I know is Right and Sound for direction. God's word, the Bible, is the only place I've been able to turn that provides hope and wisdom and guidance.
I've been trying to pinpoint where the root of becoming a good mom begins. Obviously, God. From the start of time, His creation of woman has shown what His intention for us was. We were born into a role. That role was wife. We, as women, were created to be man's help mate. His wife. Then, our "job" or instruction from God was to "be fruitful and multiply..." (Genesis 1:28). Have babies! Become parents. Among other things. But then we raise those children to do the same thing. Its our nature. Its what we were created to do.
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value."
I have been born into a role and am determined to fulfill it. It is what God created me to do. Trying my very best to be what He wants me to be is a way to glorify Him. I get to glorify Him by trying to be a good wife to the man I love. Does it get any better than that? I can't be the best mom I can be until I am the best wife to my husband that I can be.
So here, my journey really begins. I've got a ton of work to do. I want to be, in my husband's eyes, a precious, valuable gem that adds quality to his life. If I don't try, the chances of me succeeding are zero. I can't be that woman if I don't give it an honest effort. Now that I know what I need to do, I need to figure out how to do it.
Here's to keeping on in my quest to be a Supermom.