I call them floaters even though most of the time they sink right to the bottom. They are my parental kryptonite. They gross me out, make me sick to my stomach and make my work even harder.
I'm talking about turds in the bathtub.
I can handle being puked on. I can handle cleaning up a diaper that's so nasty it requires a hazmat suit. I can handle runny noses and dog vomit. I can handle cleaning up after the dog births 6 puppies. I can handle cleaning up after a really sick husband. But I HATE goin fishin in the bath tub. Nothing grosses me out more than fishing poop out of the tub.
My oldest daughter only pooped once in the tub and she was really sick. Even at the age of 1 and even with her being out of it because she was sick, I could still tell that she was really embarrassed that she did it. But my son on the other hand... its like he thinks its funny or something. I can't tell you how many times he's done it. I don't know that he's really doing it on purpose because he loves being in the water. It just happens. Its such a pain in the butt to have to take the kids out of the tub and bathe them somewhere else. And then, the clean up.
I know this is gross but it just happened. I'm still traumatized and sometimes its therapeutic to talk about the things that terrify you. This terrifies me. Blech. First, you gotta put on a glove. Tonight, my glove had a tiny hole in it that I wasn't aware of until after I scooped the poop. Made me gag. Needless to say, I've washed my hands about 30 times since then and I'm constantly reapplying hand sanitizer. I've got a bottle next to me right now. Some people say that you should just let the little bombs go down the drain. I'm sorry but I think this is disgusting. Lets say theres a random hairball in the drain clogging it up a little. Then the turds don't get washed down. They just sit there. Super gross. Then I'm all about filling the tub with steaming hot water and about a cup of bleach. Keep all toys in that were in the tub at the time of the crime. Next morning, drain it all and let the shower rinse it off for a few minutes. I may be going over board but poop carries some nasty germs! No pink eye in THIS house!
I don't know why fishin in the tub grosses me out when other things don't bother me at all. I guess that maybe every mom has her weakness. A girlfriend of mine can't be in the same room when her daughter is puking. Another can't clean up dog poop. Another won't kill spiders. Whatever. My weakness is poop in the bathtub.
This Wannabe Supermom is going to go wash her hands...again...