Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Battle of the Bulge

I am trying to potty train my son. I know that he'll only be two in a month but I would really love to not have to change his diapers any more. My older daughter didn't learn until she was about 2 1/2. I am hoping, wishing, that he would catch on quicker though since he as an example to follow.

It's been a battle trying to teach him though. I'm sure that's a sign that he's not ready, but I'm ready. We bought him a Disney CARS potty. He loves cars so we thought this would help him want to be on it and around it. Well, he does, but not to go potty. He takes it apart and walks around the house with the pieces. We tried having him go into the bathroom and sat him on the little training potty while my husband would be going to the bathroom. That didn't work either. He was more interested in what daddy was doing than what we wanted him to do. It's gotten to the point that I don't even like him being in the bathroom. The other day, I found him shoulder deep in the actual toilet with his sister's tooth brush. Thank goodness he didn't drop it when I screamed his name followed by "NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" and scared him.

I have asked friends and family their advice on potty training boys. Some said, "throw a cheerio in the potty and have him aim for it." Yeah right. He'd pick it out and eat it. I'd rather not have him starting thinking that the toilet is his "bowl". Some say, "Take all his clothes off and let him run around naked. He'll eventually dislike the feeling of peeing all over the place." Um, hello? He's a guy. They love the idea of peeing all over the place. Ask a guy if he'd rather pee inside or outside. I can promise that 99 out of 100 guys will say outside. Also, there's bugs all over my back yard. I'm not about to treat a bee sting on his butt cheek. There's no way on earth I'd let him run around naked inside. I have enough to do and don't have the time or patience to try to soak up urine before it seaps into the carpet too much.

I know that him not asking to go means that he's not ready. But I sure am getting tired of seeing the "bulge". You know. Where the diaper is so full that it sinks into one pant leg and makes one thigh look like its having some kind of swollen allergic reaction to something? Look, I'm not a bad mom for not changing the kid's diaper enough. He's pretty random about peeing and I'm pretty sure that he can hold about 4 sippy cups worth of fluids in his bladder before he lets it all out. I'm just sick of the "bulge".

I can't wait till he's potty trained. Its less work for me. Cheaper because this kid goes through diapers like I breath air. Constant. I am going to throw a party the first day that I don't have to change any more diapers. I know its my "fault" for having kids back to back. But I'm tired of this battler. If its not one, its the other. And many times, both at once.

This wannabe supermom is boycotting the bulge and is demanding successful potty training. I may have my sidekick take over though...

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